I want to see the bright lights tonight. (2001 Pontiac Sunfire)

I'm going to assume that the front end is some sort of tribute to a tragedy, every light representing someone lost and how we can't ever forget them. That, or Pontiac got massive kickbacks from the light supplier. Take your pick.

2008 Buick LaCrosse.

I suppose that, with the second post, it's confession time. I...didn't mind the old Buick LaCrosse. Fine, it looked like a face-lifted Ford Taurus. And yes, it was purchased primarily by old ladies. And the interior had a big swath of fake wood just to remind you that Buick's interior decor was still firmly stuck in the 70s. And in Canada it's called the Allure because in Quebec LaCrosse is slang for, how shall I say, "jerkin' the gherkin". I can freely admit all of this. But, I couldn't help but be a little fond of it. It might just be because it could have been so much worse. I mean, it came out right after GM gave the world the Saturn Ion, and the Pontiac-which-shall-not-be-named. It could have looked like an abstract expression of a horse's ass at that time, and since it just looked like a Buick Taurus, it was probably the best looking new car GM had produced in years.

Yes, that tells you just how bad GM design was only a few years ago.

So, even though I wanted to set myself up as some sort of ugly car critic, I couldn't, because I just couldn't be too mean to something like the LaCrosse. It was terrible. Luckily, GM realized my problem, and gave it a facelift. And, as a result, it now looks like a Ford Taurus which just crashed through a backyard barbecue.

The purpose of this gigantic chrome shield is, ostensibly, brand identity, though it might be more appropriate for defeating Medusa in some sort of ancient legend. It looks like it belongs to another car, which it does really. And I love it, because it means that I don't have to like the LaCrosse anymore. And frankly, I like that most of all.

Your Car Is Ugly. An introduction.

Not to be mean, but let's face it, your car is probably an aesthetic abomination. It might not even be your fault, it might have just been the only thing you could afford. Maybe you just don't have a strong aesthetic sense. Maybe, deep down inside, it's a good car, the best there is, but someone decided to give it a downright dreadful body.

This is why I've come along. I'm tired of ugly cars, even though I used to drive one. I'm here to point out every aesthetic abomination I come across. I'm here to shame designers into making something that's perhaps a bit more attractive. I'm here to help you avoid buying something truly hideous. Most of all, I'm here to amuse myself with a little blog nobody else will read.

Prepare, then, for erratic (though hopefully weekly) updates on all manner of ugly forms of transportation. Hopefully funny updates as well, but considering this introductory post, perhaps not.